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Ross

2009’s Personal Journey: Awareness vs. Acceptance

A funny thing has happened to me over the past year. As part of my constant, burning desire to learn and improve myself, I wanted to focus on and become more self-aware. While this has mostly been a good thing, it’s also led to a challenge I hadn’t expected. A challenge of acceptance.

Awareness is an amazing thing. As Yogi Berra once said, “You can observe a lot by just watching.” I agree. You can also learn a lot, and change a lot simply by observing – by being aware.

As soon as you become aware, in most cases you make a change. If you’ve ever driven past one of those signs that flashes your speed, you’ve seen how this works. What do most drivers do the second they see their speed flash up on the sign? They slow down. They make a change. Why? Because the speed sign made them aware. Had they not become aware, there wouldn’t have been any change.

So, in my ongoing attempts to make changes to improve myself, I’ve simply focused on being more aware.

For example, when making a speech, rather than trying to not say, “umm,” I simply became aware of how often I used this useless, filler word (if you can call “umm” a word). By being aware, I said it less – I changed my behavior.

And that’s where the challenge occurred: As I became more aware of how I behaved, how I acted, how I responded, how I moved, and so on, I also became more critical of myself.

I had to learn to be more accepting of myself.

As I became more aware, I made small improvements. As I improved, I became even more aware of how much more I had to improve – I became hyper-sensitive to all my faults. I became overly critical. But I was becoming aware of this over-critical behavior. Which made me change, since I could see that it wasn’t a good thing. I then became aware of how accepting I was of myself and my areas for improvement.

It became a bit of a cycle. A good cycle. But a challenging cycle. Fortunately, I like challenges.

I’ve had to force myself to be more accepting. When I’ve felt myself becoming overly-critical, I’ve had to remind myself to be accepting. I’ve used mental imagery to program a trigger. The trigger is simply the word “Accept.” When I say that to myself, I can let go and become more accepting. I feel myself let go and relax and just be.

That’s not to say that I accept a fault or an unwanted behavior. No, I’m still aware of it; I’m just not going to beat myself up over it. Interestingly, when I get the balance just right – the balance between being aware and being accepting – I perform at my best. When either one takes control, my performance suffers. That, I’m aware of.

Awareness and acceptance. Two words that will be at the forefront of my mind going into 2010. This past year has been a great one for me personally and professionally, and I know that what I learned about balancing awareness with acceptance, and how they interplay with each other was part of the reason for this.

Wow, imagine that! I learned something! Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

2010… awareness and acceptance, here I come. Happy New Year!

Best Performance Award

The winner of last week’s Worst Performance Award is… me, for focusing on bad performance! So, this week I’m looking for nominations for the Best Performance Award. And just like last week, since it’s the first time I’ve done this, I’m open to any exceptional performance, no matter when it was.

It's Awards Time! (WPA)

As we approach the end of the year, we are inundated with awards and top 10, top 100, top this and that, and lists of greatests… And I’m here to add to the fun. I’m proud to announce the first annual… drum roll please… Worst Performance Award.

When The Levee Breaks

Stop for a moment and picture this: It’s sometime in the next year or so, and the economy really starts rolling again (okay, it could happen). The company you work for, while not back to where it once was, is doing well. Sales have picked up, and everywhere you look things are looking like a near-full recovery is imminent. The hiring freeze is no longer; you’re looking at hiring new people. Pay raises are even back.

Big problem.

Where Does Success Come From?

What makes some people successful, and others not so? I’m mostly talking about in the business world, although it could be in any activity. What makes some people perform so much better than others? This is a question I’ve spent a lot of time – years, in fact – thinking about, and studying. I get excited just thinking about it, I’m so passionate about human performance. Okay, I may not be “normal,” but that’s just who I am.

So, what makes some people perform better than others?

Are You Listening?

I went into a restaurant the other day, and upon sitting down at a table a male server strolled up – acting very cool, almost to the point of appearing to not care whether I was there or not – and said, “Hey buddy. A beer? Iced tea?”

I replied, “A Pepsi, please.” “You bet,” and off he sauntered.

High-Speed Learning

Imagine this: You’re driving a race car. It’s an open-wheel, open-cockpit car, like an Indy car or Formula One car. Bright red. Number 5 on the nose.

Scrunched down in the cockpit, held in place by six seatbelts, clutching the tiny steering wheel, you rush through Turn 1, a sweeping left-hand corner. The g-forces slam your body sideways in the seat, the vibrations rattle your bones, your ears are overwhelmed with the high-pitched scream of the engine, the steering wheel feels like it’s going to be ripped out of your hands at any second, your body is covered in sweat inside your fire-retardant driving suit from the physical exertion and heat from your car, your heart is pounding and adrenalin is flowing, and your vision through the visor of your helmet is a blur other than the point far ahead in the turn. You’re traveling at over 180 MPH, covering the length of a football field in about a second. The car is in a drift, a slide, with the tires slipping just the right amount, the sound of the tires’ rubber being torn away by the surface of the asphalt drowned out by the air rushing past the car. Your head, inside the helmet, is forced backwards from both the 180 MPH wind and the acceleration of the car.

Success Lessons From The World Of NASCAR

A recent edition of USA Today (November 6, 2009) ran an article about the consistent success of Hendrick Motorsports’ NASCAR teams. Some would say domination is a better word than consistent success, given that they are closing in on their fourth consecutive NASCAR championship (perhaps taking 1^st, 2^nd and 3^rd). The article is titled, “Happy in the Workplace - Hendricks Motorsports’ people skills key success,” and it provides some lessons that any organization, whether in sport or the business world, can learn from.

Feedback Sucks!

Get your attention? Then listen up. Your employees are begging for feedback. They’re craving it. They’re practically screaming for it.

Give it to them.