A funny thing
has happened to me over the past year. As part of my constant, burning desire
to learn and improve myself, I wanted to focus on and become more self-aware.
While this has mostly been a good thing, it’s also led to a challenge I hadn’t
expected. A challenge of acceptance.
Awareness i
s an
amazing thing. As Yogi Berra once said, “You can observe a lot by just watching.” I agree. You
can also learn a lot, and change a lot simply by observing – by being aware.
As soon as
you become aware, in most cases you make a change. If you’ve ever driven past
one of those signs that flashes your speed, you’ve seen how this works. What do
most drivers do the second they see their speed flash up on the sign? They slow
down. They make a change. Why? Because the speed sign made them aware. Had they
not become aware, there wouldn’t have been any change.
So, in my
ongoing attempts to make changes to improve myself, I’ve simply focused on
being more aware.
For
example, when making a speech, rather than trying to not say, “umm,” I simply
became aware of how often I used this useless, filler word (if you can call
“umm” a word). By being aware, I said it less – I changed my behavior.
And that’s
where the challenge occurred: As I became more aware of how I behaved, how I
acted, how I responded, how I moved, and so on, I also became more critical of
myself.
I had to
learn to be more accepting of myself.
As I became
more aware, I made small improvements. As I improved, I became even more aware
of how much more I had to improve – I became hyper-sensitive to all my faults.
I became overly critical. But I was becoming aware of this over-critical
behavior. Which made me change, since I could see that it wasn’t a good thing.
I then became aware of how accepting I was of myself and my areas for
improvement.
It became a
bit of a cycle. A good cycle. But a challenging cycle. Fortunately, I like
challenges.
I’ve had to
force myself to be more accepting. When I’ve felt myself becoming
overly-critical, I’ve had to remind myself to be accepting. I’ve used mental
imagery to program a trigger. The trigger is simply the word “Accept.” When I
say that to myself, I can let go and become more accepting. I feel myself let
go and relax and just be.
That’s not
to say that I accept a fault or an unwanted behavior. No, I’m still aware of
it; I’m just not going to beat myself up over it. Interestingly, when I get the
balance just right – the balance between being aware and being accepting – I
perform at my best. When either one takes control, my performance suffers.
That, I’m aware of.
Awareness
and acceptance. Two words that will be at the forefront of my mind going into
2010. This past year has been a great one for me personally and professionally,
and I know that what I learned about balancing awareness with acceptance, and
how they interplay with each other was part of the reason for this.
Wow,
imagine that! I learned something! Who said you can’t teach an old dog new
tricks?
2010…
awareness and acceptance, here I come. Happy New Year!
Thank you Ross! Insightful and clear as ever.
Happy New Year to you and your family.
Kevin
Posted by: Kevin YORK | YGM LLC | December 31, 2009 at 11:23 AM